I can still remember some of the many Zulu phrases I learnt the year I lived in South Africa. I even semi-mastered the clicks they use in some words. A few years later, I was in a country with technically the same language as my own, but there was still a lot of new words to pick up – eggplant instead of aubergine, zucchini instead of courgette, pants instead of trousers. And the day someone told me to take the trolley from the station back to the university, I was completely stumped.
I am a strong advocate for learning the language of the place you are living in (or the family you’re marrying into!). Language is so central to our identity, our culture, the way we express our values and beliefs. If you are always speaking to locals in their second (or third, fourth…) language you’re going to miss out on a big part of the expat experience.
It’s easier said than done though, and I have so much sympathy for people who struggle with it. We’ve been pushing through French lessons since arriving here in Luxembourg, and some days we leave with our heads spinning. But then I meet a French friend for coffee and she encourages me through a conversation in halting stilted French in all the wrong tenses. And it feels so so good. And the smile on her face to hear me making this much effort to speak her language? It makes it all worthwhile.
So here’s my challenge today, to ditch the excuses and make learning the language a top priority.
But I’m only going to be here for six months/one year/three years so what’s the point? The point is that even a few basic phrases can open doors to friendships, and to helpful staff instead of frustrated staff. A simple moein here in Luxembourg shows I’m making an effort, that I am interested in the local culture and people.
But surely everyone speaks English by now, so what’s the point? The point is to stop be an arrogant ass. (gasp!) Not everyone speaks English. And frankly, the fact that Luxembourgers speak English as their fourth language (I know!) should humble me enough to at least learn one of their first three.
But, hello, they have three national languages here. Even if I learn one, I’ll still not be able to communicate with everyone, so what’s the point? The point is to start somewhere. If we always make excuses for not beginning something that seems hard, we’ll never learn, never grow, and we’ll miss out on so much of life.
But I’ve never been good at languages. I just can’t learn. So what’s the point trying? The point is that everyone can learn something. You may never be fluent. You may always have a truly horrible accent. But you’ll be able to ask someone how they are, order a drink for a new friend, thank someone for their help.
Because the point here is not fluency, it’s connection. Language has the power to connect or to divide. And surely it’s always better to be attempting the former…
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This post is part of my 31 days to embrace expat life. I’m writing every day through October on this topic. Want to read more about my experience learning other languages? Start here…
Conquering Babel – learning Danish
Yes, the photo only has small relevance to the topic, but it’s my favourite storyline from the Love Actually film. It makes me smile. That’s reason enough!
{ 11 comments… read them below or add one }
Hi, I couldn’t agree more about learning the local language – is the best way to connect and feel more part of the community (even if it is just to know a few basic greetings and vocab, to order a morning coffee.) I just started Luxembourgish this week (helps of course when the courses are subsidised by the state!) – and finding it’s also a fun way to meet others (plus is quite a tickle to be ‘back at school’!) Happy language learning all !
That’s great!! I started with French because it’s so widely used by immigrants here as well as locals, but I’ve met quite a few Luxembourgers who sound disappointed I picked French over Luxembourgish… sigh, one language at a time.
I couldn’t agree more! How many times have I come across an English speaking person who refuses to learn one of Switzerland’s four national languages, because everyone speaks English? I can only shake my head at such arrogance.
It’s such an easy trap to slip into because honestly, you CAN survive here with just English. But should you? No. It takes discipline and a fresh realisation of just how arrogant it actually is, to start learning a language you could get by without…
While I fully agree with this post, it can be quite demoralizing when the dutch, as soon as they notice your accent or know that you are not local, switch to English all by themselves.
I love learning languages, because you not only learn the language, but a culture, a philosophy, a way of living, but I really find Dutch hard. I have reached a point where I can do all the everyday stuff, have a conversation, understand when we are at gatherings and can more or less read and get TV shows, but I am “stuck” in that level…. and something inside me knows I will never really be fluent, or speak and write *almost* like a native, like I could do within 2 years with French…
Oh gosh, yes. The locals who like to practise on us! I agree, it can be frustrating to keep trying when everyone switches immediately into English on hearing the hint of an accent.
I think that there’s this gap between “intermediate” and “fluent” which is so hard to bridge, or at least it takes much longer than the previous levels did. And that might feel like failure but it’s really not. It’s incredibly impressive that you’re at that level in Dutch. You speak multiple languages to a conversational or fluent level, and you’ve stuck with it even when it’s hard and frustrating… x
Very true. That jump to fluent is a hard one. Especially when you live somewhere where people are willing (or eager) to switch to English. It really helps to have some friends/people who commit to speaking that other language with you.
S insists that reading is a big key to making that final jump. I agree with him, but still need to read in French way more than I do.
YES! We only lived in Germany for four months, but we went to classes through my husband’s work, and I had a “teach yourself” workbook that I used each morning at home. We had a house full of sticky notes – new words stuck to the thing they meant. I tried out my German in the market, in cafes, giving and getting directions – mostly in little snippets, but knowing I had “survival skills” helped me feel less self-concious when speaking with German friends and helped me remember phrases I learned in class.
I think getting over that initial fear of taking your language out into the “real world” beyond the classroom is so important! It’s great that you were brave to try it out as you learnt!
You chose one of my favorite stories to illustrate yours — love Love Actually! Although I don’t speak any French, I do know some Spanish and can use my knowledge of cognates to read signs and the like. My husband can attempt some French and read most of what he sees. When we were in France, once we “tried,” then people would switch to English. They were being nice and we were relieved. In most of the places I have been, including Austria, Mexico, Puerto Rico, and France, the locals also appeared to be relieved to not have to listen to me struggle in their language and just switched to English. Considering that they are much more comfortable with English due to their schooling in languages, I’m not going to worry about it. If I were living in another country, I would definitely do my best to learn the language. When in England, I use the loo and watch out for lorries while driving. And I can say hello and thank you in the language of every country I’ve visited.
Being polite goes a long way.
Yes to being polite! Sometimes I wonder if it’s a dying practise
(p.s. your posts are making me want to come back to Chicago – I visited once for a few days in 2005!)
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