There’s this interesting phenomenon of international community organisations that you discover as an expat. Yes, you may have moved hundreds or thousands of miles across the globe, but the first thing many foreigners do is join the local British/American/Scandinavian/Irish group. Even where there aren’t official organisations, you can often find people gravitating towards people from their own country.
There are a lot of these organisations in Luxembourg and I am somewhat divided in my own opinion of them. Full disclosure: I’m a member of two groups here – one that I don’t even have a small national connection with. And they are a massive source of information on many practical issues. Here are people who are going through exactly the same transition as you are currently making, and can support you through it. There’s so much good in that.
But if I moved to Luxembourg just to make friends with more British people, it seems to me something is a bit off.
The last two places I’ve lived have shared the characteristic of being somewhat overwhelmed by foreigners. Getting on the metro in Brussels feels a bit like walking into the UN, it is such a mix of skin shades, hair styles, clothing fashions, languages. Here in Luxembourg, this little country is inching slowly but surely towards a 50% foreign population.
It means that a big part of my life here will be surrounded by other expats but from a huge variety of backgrounds and cultures. I love that. I love that my friends are Germans and Dutch and Americans and South Africans and Japanese. It constantly challenges my own perceptions, it introduces me to so many new ideas and beliefs (and food!), and it reminds of what a big and beautifully varied world we live in.
This multicultural life is a huge blessing, but I also don’t want to miss out on the local culture of this country. It feels hard to do most days, because the two communities exist quite separate from each other in many ways. And yet I am sure that if I do not make the effort to get to know Luxembourgers and Luxembourg history and culture, my stay here in this little country will not be as a rich as it could have been.
Even at nearly 50% of the population, we’re still guests in this country, and it is just good manners to get to know your host, and not ignore them while you enjoy all the good things offered to you.
So today’s tip is a challenge to myself more than anyone else, to step outside the relative comfort of the expat community and do the (sometimes hard) work of getting to know the locals. I think it will be worth it.
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This post is part of my 31 days to embrace expat life. I’m writing every day through October on this topic. Click on the button to see all the posts so far…
Yesterday’s post – On loneliness.
Photo: Luxembourg flags at the Tour de France, via the Guardian
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Yeah… though when I was in Switzerland most of my friends were of a similar origin (half-swiss, half-latin american ), I have always more or less gone against of *actively* and *exclusively* socializing with expats, cause… it takes away from the whole experience.
Of course in reality you end up relating with other expats, cause they “understand” you better, and you most probably have tons of things in comon, but I prefer finding them on my own, or more or less randomly (for instance through language lessons) than actively searching for them…
At the same time I also like to immerse myself and learn as much from the local culture when possible, local friends are always great .
You’re right, there’s a lot to be said for finding people who “understand” you, who you can vent to occasionally, who can give you good advice on how to settle in, how to integrate. There’s definitely a right balance to be found that will probably look a little different for everybody…
This is going to be a challenge for us as we move to China – here in Germany, our neighbours are German, we go to a billingual Church where 40% of those attending are German and the remainder are from all over the world (very few from the UK), but as we move to Beijing, we will be living within an expat compound and I am very aware, that to make the most of our time over there, we need to step out of our comfort zone and meet the locals
Thanks for the reminder!
Becs, you’re so friendly and smiley, I think everyone will want to be friends with you
But seriously, I think recognising our tendency to stay where we’re comfortable and then miss out on the bigger experience of getting to know the local culture is half the battle.
I have lived in Ukraine the first eight years mostly with my international team. That feels like you are creating somewhat of a subculture amongst yourselves. As the work developed, there were less and less foreigneers inthe work and more and more local or naitve Russian speakers. That was of course the goal. But it has been interesting to observe. Becuase of the work I was doing I learned to speak Russian, so I was to some extent immersed in the culture. In actaul fact, i thought I new most of it.
I was wrong, which I found out when I started my own organisation in Ukraine and was the only foreigner. Thát is when I was truly submerged into the culture.
As a result I feel half Ukrainian, as some values and cultural ways have grown on me and become part of me. Which consequently made it hard to re-enter my own culture.
With living in different countries and cultures, I ahve become a mix of them all. This I like. But the price is that you are never really at home anymore in your own country. Does anyone recognize this?
It’s interesting that there are always stages to integration in a culture – that we might get to a point where we think we “know” it, but then suddenly there’s a whole new layer of meaning and relationships to explore.
I know what you mean about the “where is home now?” phenomenon. It’s something I am still figuring out…
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