The keys to patience are acceptance and faith. Accept things as they are, and look realistically at the world around you. Have faith in yourself and in the direction you have chosen. – Ralph Marston
The expat life is a full and fascinating and transforming lifestyle. And yet it is for many people one of the biggest steps out of their comfort zone. And looking back over all my posts this month for my 31 Days to Embrace Expat Life, I’ve noticed how often it requires patience.
It requires patience to learn the language. It requires patience to get through the loneliness and make friends. It requires patience with your spouse or partner as they adjust at a different pace. It requires patience as you figure out the new customs, new traditions, new ways of greeting.
I love this quote above, that the keys to patience are acceptance and faith. Acceptance of the ways things are in the new culture, that things will be different, will seem bizarre or illogical at times, will seem unfair at times. And faith that despite all the strangeness, embracing this expat lifestyle will ultimately be incredibly rewarding for you and your family.
Have patience with all things, But, first of all with yourself. – Saint Francis de Sales
Be patient, first of all, with yourself. It takes time to adjust, and you may feel frustrated at your emotions and reactions. In those moments when the tears come easily, or you really wish your punchbag was not now stored in the attic instead of hanging in the apartment (true story) take a deep breath and give yourself another day. Be patient with yourself.
“Why is patience so important? Because it makes us pay attention.” ― Paulo Coelho
Impatience causes us to try and rush through life faster than we are meant to. We try to get over these uncomfortable emotions quickly. We try to blend in as fast as possible. We try to skip the frustrating learning phase and move through to fluency. All that will come with time, but if we rush it, we miss out on so much.
Patience gives you time to look around and absorb this moment you are in. Learn from the frustration and the loneliness. Understand why you feel a certain way. Recognise the truth about a circumstance or a culture that you had missed in your impatience.
“A waiting person is a patient person. The word patience means the willingness to stay where we are and live the situation out to the full in the belief that something hidden there will manifest itself to us.” ― Henri J.M. Nouwen
There is so much to notice in your new country. And feeling like an outsider can make you acutely aware of where others are also living on the outside. Patience in this moment can lead to compassion. And that is one of the most valuable things you can gain.
Our new countries, these intriguing and confusing new cultures – there is so much hidden here to be discovered and enjoyed. There are so many important lessons to be learnt, so many faces to be seen, so many moments to understand. Embrace patience in this expat life, and they will show themselves to you.
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This post is part of my 31 days to embrace expat life. I’m writing every day through October on this topic (I’m three days behind!). Click on the button to see all the posts so far…
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Fiona: When I arrive in January …
I am so going to make time to meet you and buy you a really really good hot chocolate!
These posts have been great the past few weeks. But this post, I think it’s timing has been so so perfect. I would always say that I am not a patient person, I need to do things now, be ready now, be there now. Waiting around? not me. I have a need to be so ready and so early for things.
but, as it turns out, I am actually a patient person. I have not wanted to be, I’ve spent days going ‘why….’ but the proof they say is in the pudding. I have been doing long distance with my BF for over 3 and a half years. It’s been difficult some times and in 2 months time I finally get to have my biggest trip when we head back together, with all my stuff. And I don’t have to come back home (unless it’s for a visit). It takes a lot of patience and faith to do that. And I never thought of it that way.
I’m very much a comfort zone person. I’m stepping outside that in every way from January and I’m really nervous. But I’m very aware of it and I know that this will require a lot on my part to move outside and handle things. I’m lucky in that BF knows it all so well and I know some people there and a few places to go eat so I will have a few areas that will feel ‘homely’ for me, to retreat to on the days where I’m at a loss of how to face everything again.
So, again. Thank you so so so much!!!!! You are a star!
I think I’m going to make a point of re-reading all these tips for the next 2 months, and when I arrive. So that I’ll remember that I need to be gentle on myself and remember how far I’ve come.
Michelle, I know exactly where we can get that hot chocolate
So glad you have appreciated this series. I am excited for you to begin this new adventure in your life. Looking forward to welcoming you here in a few months!