My head as been a bit in the clouds this week, which might explain my entirely forgetting to post anything here on Monday. It’s our last week in Brussels, and that takes a big of getting used to, just when you don’t really have any extra time to get used to it.
Yesterday afternoon I took the train down to Luxembourg where Rasmus is already commuting each week for work, to go with him to our new flat to get the keys. When we arrived, the estate agents were already busy putting our name on the postbox and the doorbell which was one of those massively significant moments in my own head which everyone else was treating as a very normal action. After the usual checking for every tiny damage or mark in the flat to make sure we’re not blamed for it when we move out, we closed the door on our landlord and the handful of agents and were alone in our brand new home.
I may have cried.
The strangest part of this week is the huge conflict of emotion: the excitement of a new start, a new flat, a new city to explore, against the sadness of leaving friends, our church, the favourite places that hold so many memories.
This morning as I took the train back to Brussels again, pausing in between articles from my Monocle magazine to watch the thick morning mist slowly dissipate in the sunshine, I thought about this conflict and came to the conclusion that it’s ok. I don’t need to decide between feeling excited and feeling sad. Both are valid feelings that fit this in between time.
If I am enthusiastically describing the two (two!) balconies our new flat has, it doesn’t mean I won’t miss our unique and amazing Brussels apartment. If I get teary over another goodbye that needs to be said, it doesn’t mean I don’t look forward to all the opportunities to make new friends in Luxembourg.
These feelings are not mutually exclusive, and I think it helped me to figure that out on the train this morning.
Posts will probably continue to be sporadic and random this week as we throw our final party, pack up the last belongings and welcome in the movers.
We move on Monday. I’m both excited and sad. And that’s ok.