There are days when writing a list of things I am thankful for is easy and wonderful and motivated by overflowing gratitude. And then there are the days when pms is raging and I nearly cry at the gym and I sit at the computer for two hours with a long to-do list wondering what I should do and why I should do it.
Then, writing this list is a forced, tired process. A resigned recognition that it will probably do me good to stop and be thankful even if I don’t feel it right now. A gradual realisation as I write that there is still so so much good in life. So much.
They’re not miracle workers, these lists we write. They seem to be all the rage right now. Every where you look, someone is telling you to write down all the gifts, all the good things. And I think in themselves, they’re just lists. They don’t simply fill in the holes you feel on the bad days and make it all better. But they point the way somehow. They point the way back towards hope and towards joy.
So today I’m thankful for…
Intermittent sunshine and blue skies after all the snow and rain we’ve had.
A spontaneous lunch date with Rasmus because I’d forgotten my house keys and had to go and get his in the middle of the day.
Cinema trips with lovely lady friends to see Silver Linings Playbook. For films that stay in my head all the next day and make me think and want to know more. And for happy endings that send me home hopeful.
The thought of Easter in two weeks and getting to see my whole wonderful family, cousins and all.
Tickets booked for a big trip in a few months and the way the idea of it is both thrilling and terrifying me simultaneously.
Vaccinations done that will keep us safe from deadly diseases, even when those vaccines cost an arm and a leg.
Letters and photos from Uganda – my sweet sponsored girl and her little boy sending me letters and a drawing of the school bus. For the funny and tender letters from their house mother, and the way my heart just swells with pride to read how they are both doing. I never knew sponsoring a child would be like this.
The gym and the one personal trainer I always seem to time my arrival with, who shouts louder than all the others but practically dancers around the room, she’s so excited about her job. The way she seems to care about each of her clients as real and interesting people.
Crocuses in the park and the deja vu of seeing them last year – a second spring in this little country that became a surprising home.
A finished project for a friend. I’m so bad at finishing. I’m great at starting. But this time I finished and it’s not perfect but it’s done and I’m pleased with it, and I know she will love it.
A request to make scones for a party this weekend. Baking is sweet gentle therapy for me, and yet I just can’t eat it all. And so a request to bake for someone else?! Pure joy, my friends.
The prospect of a long chat over tea tomorrow afternoon with a Catholic friend to talk all things Pope.
The promise of a skype with my sister in 40 minutes…