Brave, faith, miscarriage, motherhood, She Loves Magazine, Writing Elsewhere

The Size of a Green Pea

December 26, 2013
The size of a green pea - on becoming pregnant again after a miscarriage // Fiona Lynne

We took a photo for the first time that Sunday afternoon, eight weeks ago. I’d always imagined I’d do a photo with the pregnancy test, like the many I’ve seen on Pinterest—the ones where nine months later that little piece of plastic is replaced with a baby. But the two tests I did were the cheap kind, flimsy little strips that are hardly photogenic.

So instead we took a photo of me holding a pea. Because my phone app told me that this week (week 6), our baby is the size of a pea. It seemed a little silly, picking the best-looking pea out of the handful of frozen peas my husband brought up from the freezer. Sitting with it in my palm as he snapped photos of me sitting cross-legged on the bed.

But this photo-taking was an act of faith, a statement of trust in the One who created and loves this little pea inside of me…


She Loves MagazineI’m sharing over at SheLoves Magazine today, on fear and joy, and how taking a photo with a pea can be a huge act of faith. Join me there?

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  • Yes, it’s a leap of faith. I read somewhere that you can’t have joy without fear… but you have to shut the fear down, tell it that though you know it’ll be there, you won’t let it take over and spoil the party. I wish I remember where I read that essay.

    I think we will always feel this protective instinct. But with the pregnancy it will get better as the months pass, as you feel your little pea move and react. The first months are so hard because it all feels so abstract. I still am so happy for your news.

    I read you have a stomach flu? Take real good care, drink lots and lots of liquids, and make sure you don’t get a fever. My midwives / doctor say in case you get a fever, you can take paracetamol. Get better soon.

  • Yay for you and your family! I’m so happy for you 🙂

  • Fancy

    So happy for you and your little pea!

  • So thrilled for you Fiona! Sending congratulations and hopes that this tiny source of hope and faith will continue to grow and thrive!