What is this season for?

What is this Season for? She Loves - Jan 2016

One of my daughter’s first words is “moon.” She points it out in her storybooks and is really excited if she spots it in the sky. I love that she notices. I love that, because of her, I get to watch the waxing and waning of that beautiful silver globe through the month, see it begin as just a slither of fingernail until it becomes heavy and round like my own pregnant belly.

The world is ever-shifting around us, reminding us, if we would have eyes to see, that there is a time for everything—the darkness of the new moon and the light of the full moon—and a season for everything.

It’s a question that’s become so important to me: what is this season for?

This current moment in my life looks very different than I had expected even half a year ago. The past six months have brought an international move and a surprise pregnancy. In many ways, I’m not where I wanted to be: I miss working; I don’t particularly love being a full time stay at home mum; I worry that the dreams that got set to one side will never be realised.

Recently my spiritual director asked me, what do you most need right now? And from the mess of thoughts and anxieties and desires, one word floated up: contentment. I’m exhausted by all these unmet expectations and unfulfilled dreams. I crave a little contentment.

But I can’t switch off who I am. I can’t forbid my mind to come up with new ideas. I can’t stop wanting to be able to put my gifts to work. The dreams settle into my heart and soul and I don’t have the strength or will to evict them.

And then my little girl interrupts my thoughts again with her loud shout: “moon! moon!” It hangs two thirds full over the Baltic harbour outside my in-laws’ window where we are seeing in the New Year. And I remember that there is a time for everything.


She Loves Magazine is hosting a month of questions from their writers, and this is mine: What is this Season for? Click through to their site to read the rest of my post